http://www.kearneyasnyderfuneralhome.com/roger-alan-pickering/

dad's obituary

My father, Reverend Roger Alan Pickering, passed away peacefully and quickly at 3:15 today

his decline was astonishingly rapid.
he was not in pain, and he didn't linger.

( a quick recap of recent eventsCollapse )

On December 24th, Xmas eve, the entire immediate family got together
mom, dad, me, my husband wayne, my brother gordon, his wife maryann

dad was tired, but alert and in good spirits, looking reasonably well, and very active.

i went out to visit him this past saturday, January 11th, and he was ... startlingly declined. he recognized me and wayne, was not in pain, but had some coughing, would not eat, drank very little, and mostly slept (although i understand the meds made him sleepy also)

that was the last chance i had to talk to him.
i am glad i ignored my mom saying "dont stress you have lots of time" although in fairness, no one...NO ONE expected it to be this fast.

he slipped into the last sleep this morning, and never awakened, although he opened his eyes when the EMTS moved him from the chair at home, to take him over to the skilled care wing....

he never spent a night there. he was moved there at about 11:30 and passed away at 3:15.

gordon and maryann arrived at 1 pm... they are staying with mom.. i , silly idiot that i am, forgot my meds and had too come home for the night.

i am glad i paid attention when my medical friends talked... i was able to help the EMTS get the sheet under him to move him, and help be the third pair of hands to stabilize a tall patient in a tight space....both from his recliner to the gurney, and from the gurney onto his bed in skilled care.

i originally posted this under the default friends lock (which you may still comment on if you want privacy) however for those who want to share it, or point others not on my friends list to it... here it is:
__________________________________________________________________________________________________

An open letter on depression, invisible illnesses, and etc:

i have been as open as i can be (sometimes maybe TMI) about my experiences with both chronic illness and depression... because honestly? we are pretty common.
people just think that suffering with deopression or other psychiatric problems is rare because they do not "see" it.... well you CANNOT see it.

same as with my other non visible problems.. or others. you cannot "see" lots of disabilities, for instance, and people get harrased for "not really being disabled"
phooey

i had major reactions to an anti depressant the last time they tried to give me any new medication. (May 2012 i think).... the wonder drug for my migraines, depression,, and fibromyalgia pain sent me suicidal three weeks after i took the increased dose.

luckily i RECOGNIZED that it was the medication. i got to a crises center, and we got me off the meds (at which point they decided they were too scared to give me any other medicine)

i shared that fairly openly because people need to know it can happen.

I have just started a brand new anti depressant (which may also work on some chronic pain, or may not). and i am openly documenting it... partly so that my friends can help track if i "sound off" from my posts.

i am lucky
i am self employed, i am a (older) student, and in the job market i would like to be in, depression is pretty well known (fashion design/styling)
i can AFFORD to be open about it.
lots of other people cannot. so i kind of figure i owe them.

depression is real. chronic anxiety is real, PTSD is real.... i am a pretty cheerful person if you meet me at a show, or selling things... or even on the rare occassions i hang out.
cheerful doesnt mean its not a struggle every day to get up and... actually do anything

depression manifests differently in different people. it can come out as anger, apathy, sadness... in my case a complete lack of motivation, of ability to manage my time... just.... (empty)
so they chose a medication that hopefully will work with the kind of depression i have.
its a crap shoot. it may work, it may not work, it may have bad side effects.

and unfortunately thats the way it is.
yes i am talking to a therapist as well. the combination of both medication and therapy has better long term results for the issues i have.

so....
try to remember you cannot always tell who has mental health issues, (or physical health issues) from office chatter, or social gatherings. Just like watching someone walk across the parking lot, you cannot tell they have heart problems, and thats why they need the handicapped placard.

short form?

wayne is home... but not exactly because its all rosy. he has to go in for a heart catheterization because the stress test (which had some issues itself) saw some issues.
however
rather than pay the bill for another night in the hospital, and the ambulance to the other facility where they do the cath stuff... since its a outpatient procedure we are calling his cardiologist and doing it by appointment.

we are responsible for 20% of the bill. that is, 20% is not covered. this is going to HURT and anything we can minimize is a good thing.

uh
please feel free to talk up my etsy, and i will be posting more jewelry and etc up soon
http://www.etsy.com/shop/fabricdragon

so to recap:
Wayne is in the hospital with what MAY be a mold allergy related illness, or may not... they have ruled a lot of stuff OUT but we do not have answers yet as to what it may BE. (at least they ruled out pulmonary embolism.)

i have been pretty ill, with what may be the mold and bleach (mold cleanup) or may be stress, or may be both.

i have missed a week and a half of school between my illness, his going to various doctors, and the hospital... so i will have to withdraw from this quarter and re take it. we are trying to get this done in a way i dont have to pay for it all again, but it doesnt look good.

dad is out of the hospital (pneumonia and other problems) and is in the high level care wing of the retirement community. he is improving... you can tell because he is really wanting to go home. mom is stressed but ok.

i hired 1 800 got junk to come clean out the basement so i could bleach and dry it more thoroughly. figured to do it while wayne wasnt here to avoid stirring up more mold, and so he doesnt get tempted to dive into the trash and "save that". i did tell him in advance. i did give him the chance to tell me on the phone what (if anything) to save. we FILLED a truck of theirs.
nice boys, i was impressed.

i am trying to clean and organize the UPSTAIRS enough to even have them come back. right now the stuff that needs to go is kind of buried under "no, i need that" and vice versa.

we are getting a new bed. a sleep number bed. partly because we both wake up very sore, our bed is old. partly because they do not harbor as much mold and dust mite issues.

basic update

so for this past quarter....

computer paternmaking : a- (sigh, but for a computer thing, not bad)
collection development: a
patternmaking 3: a

and my GPA is back up to 3.9